sex Tag

Sex and Intimacy After Having Kids

Everything changes when you become a parent. Suddenly your whole entire life revolves around a new little person, and there is so much joy in watching them grow and develop. However, as any veteran parent will tell you, there are drawbacks as well. One of those drawbacks often comes in the form of dramatic changes in how you and your partner experience intimacy together. 

 

Between physical and hormonal changes after the birth of a child and changes in your schedule, energy levels, and relationship as your child grows up, having a fulfilling sex life with your partner can become a challenge. This can put a lot of strain on your relationship and your own personal happiness, but it doesn’t need to be this way! Your sex life can survive parenthood if you are willing to make changes in your approach to intimacy and work together to continue to make it a priority in your lives. The first step is knowing what to expect and creating a plan for how to change things going forward, so here’s what you need to know!

What Changes?

Hormones and Physical Changes

This is very important particularly for anyone who has just given birth, but a parent who did not give birth also experiences a rush of new hormones as they bond with their baby! The human body is biologically hardwired to care for newborns, and during the early stages when you’re adjusting to the new baby and your body might still be healing from delivery, it’s very normal for one or both partners to have a low interest in sex, and it’s important to set your own timeline and get back into things when both partners feel ready. 

Time

If you don’t know it yet, you certainly will soon– kids are a lot of work, and time you once had available to spend with your partner will now be dedicated to them. This change in your schedule can lead to the simple logistical problem of having less time for intimacy, and finding a moment to spend with your partner can become a lot more difficult than it ever was before.

Environment

Where sex and intimacy were likely once spontaneous and easy in your life, you now have to worry about upset kids who want to sleep in your bed, toys on the sofa, dishes in the sink, and many other distractions and stressors in your physical environment that are competing for your attention, making it hard to find a time and place to engage with each other. 

What to Do?

Have a Conversation

If you and your partner are going to get through this together, it’s crucial that you prioritize open and honest communication around your sex life. Sit down together and talk about what you’re feeling comfortable with, what your needs are, and where your head is at. Many parents who aren’t the primary caregiver can feel neglected by their partner, and many parents who are the primary caregiver can struggle with low libido as their entire life and body becomes dedicated to taking care of kids. Being honest about these feelings with each other will help you to grow understanding for yourself and your partner.

Make Plans

Just like you schedule doctor’s appointments and errands, you can and should schedule sex. Feeling like you’ve lost the spontaneity of your previous sex life can be difficult, but it’s worth it to maintain intimacy with your partner. Additionally, adjusting your mindset to view the entire day as foreplay and an opportunity to tease each other and get in the mood can help make things even more exciting!

Spend Time Together

One of the best ways to enhance intimacy with your partner is to spend time together without having sex at all. Making sure you find time for the physical is important, but it’s also important to just have and enjoy simple moments together, like some time spent cuddling after your children go to bed, a night out while the kids stay home with a babysitter, or a quick, fun conversation in the morning together before the day begins. Prioritizing nonsexual intimacy can make a big difference in your relationship.

 

While maintaining a healthy romantic and sexual relationship with your partner after you both become parents does take work, forethought, and cooperation, it is possible, and you’ll both be happier for it in the years to come! If you’re interested in learning more about reproductive health and wellness and hormonal imbalances, check out our blog here at Renewed Vitality!

Mental wellness and sex are a lot more closely connected than they might seem at first glance. Although they’re incredibly different from person to person, everyone needs to have balance between these two factors. Whether they engage in intimacy with one person, multiple people, or individually, good mental health is tied to a healthy sex life, and a healthy sex life is tied to good mental health. With age, it can be common for sex drive to decrease, which can have unexpected results on a person’s mental wellbeing, so making an effort to keep your sex life active later in life can be very helpful! Here are some of the benefits of a healthy sex life on your mental wellness.

Relationship Benefits

If you’re in a relationship, keeping up with your sex life can do a lot of good things for you and your partner. Physical intimacy encourages communication and bonding between partners, boosts self esteem and self image, and can help lower relational anxiety, or anxiousness around relating to or bonding with other people. Overall, it helps to bring you closer together and make your relationship stronger and happier, which is never a bad thing!

Lowered Stress

Sex offers all the same benefits of exercise, so it has the added side bonus of lowering your stress levels by releasing your body’s feel-good hormones, endorphins and oxytocin. Overall they help you to feel more relaxed and stave off feelings of anxiety and depression.

Improved Mood

Just like your daily mental health walk helps you to feel happier, so does sex! The same hormones that are associated with lowered stress levels, endorphins and oxytocin, as well as serotonin, can help you to feel happier and put some more pep in your step throughout the day.

Better Sleep

A healthy and active sex life will be a big help to your sleep patterns. The brain chemicals released during sex help you to feel relaxed and sleepy, which can help you get a better night’s shut-eye. Poor sleep can be extremely detrimental to your mental health, even just one night and especially if it becomes a chronic problem, so by helping you to sleep better, sex can also better equip you to handle your mental wellness.

Between changes in your sex drive as you age, increased stress, and a busy lifestyle, keeping your sex life active and healthy can start to feel like an afterthought, but the benefits you can get from making it a priority in your life are worth the effort it takes to make time for it. Whether you’re in a committed or casual relationship or you’re single, you can still enjoy all the mental health benefits, not to mention the physical health benefits! 

If you’re struggling with sexual issues like low libido, speaking to a professional can make a huge difference. Renewed Vitality in Berks County is the area’s premier facility for hormone replacement therapy (HRT), which can be exceptionally helpful in terms of improving your sex life, especially as you age. We have both male and female patients, and we offer safe, effective treatments to help with hormone imbalances and restore your quality of life. Contact us to learn more about what this treatment can do for you!

It’s true that getting older often brings benefits like greater experience and a more refined perspective on life. But from a purely physical point of view, most people associate aging with wrinkles, reduced athletic capability, and a decrease in sexual performance. But sexual dysfunction and age aren’t as clearly connected as you might think, with some men maintaining sexual activity well into old age. 

Since sexual activity inevitably changes over time, when should men stop having sex? The good news is that, generally speaking, you don’t have to stop! People’s sexual appetites and capabilities vary because everyone’s aging process and sexuality are at least somewhat unique. But what happens if your body is exhibiting symptoms that make it harder to have sex as you age? Let’s take a closer look at some of these issues and how to treat and mitigate them.

Sexuality Changes Over Time

It can take older men more time to become aroused, and they may need longer recovery times after orgasming. Erectile dysfunction is also quite common as men age, with up to two-thirds of men over 70 years old reporting symptoms. From a medical perspective, this is often related to declining testosterone levels, and can also be affected by many age-related conditions and the medications used to mitigate them. 

Intimacy is crucial for everyone, including older men. In addition to adjusting medications and how men may treat their other physical health conditions, it also useful for older men to change how they think about sexual performance. For example, if age or health-related problems prevent  or reduce your sexual performance, it’s often a great idea to focus more on sexual activities that don’t need an erection or ejaculation to be pleasurable.

How to Stay Sexually Active as an Older Man

While it’s expected that the vast majority of people will experience a decline in sexual activity as they enter their latter years, it doesn’t necessarily mean they have to stop having sex altogether or even much at all.

Along with staying healthy by practicing good nutrition and regular exercise, older men should treat medical conditions as they come up and, if required, use preventative medication to stop issues such as erectile dysfunction. This can help you maintain fulfilling sexual relationships as you age and establish greater peace of mind about sexual performance.

Maintaining a Healthy Lifestyle

For reliable and satisfying sexual activity as men age, incorporating good physical health activities usually means better sexual health and stronger sexual desire. Even basic things like regular exerise, a balanced diet, and kicking bad habits like smoking or drinking too much alcohol can all contribute to a healthy sex like even into your 70s and 80s.

Using Erectile Dysfunction (ED) Medication

While it’s true that erectile dysfunction can occur in men of all ages, there’s a much higher incidence rate in older men. In particular, research has found that men have about a 40 percent risk of encountering some degree of ED in their 40s, increasing subtintailyl more every decade.

While this may seem intimidating, there are great modern ED prescriptions that can make it easy to maintain an erection, even if you’re experiencing symptoms of ED. If you’re experiencing such symptoms, be sure to talk with your doctor to get a better understanding of the best medication options for you.

Treat Any Underlying Medical Issues

It’s possible for many sexual performance challenges to be caused or worsened by specific health conditions. For instance, erectile dysfunction often results from high blood pressure, cardiovascular problems, diabetes, and other physical conditions that become bigger issues as men age.

If you have a chronic disease or other health conditions that could affect your sexual performance, keep in close contact with your healthcare provider and, potentially, use medication to control your condition(s)’s symptoms for a more satisfying quality of life.

It’s also crucial to take an active approach to maintaining your health by checking for age-related medical issues that could impact your sexual satisfaction and capability. By staying on top of your overall health, you may be able to address issues as they come up for improved health and sexual performance across the decades.

Taking Action

If you’ve been feeling dissatisfied with your sexual performance or sex life in general as a result of age, we hope this info will help you take action toward a more rewarding sex life in your later years. By speaking with a medical professional about potential medications and physical or emotional issues related to sex, you’ll be taking the first steps to a better quality of life. 

Feel free to reach out and contact us with any questions about how to treat and mitigate symptoms of age-related sexual decline. here are great ways to adapt to your body’s changing needs, and by exploring these possibilities, you can maintain a great sex life for years to come!

No matter what your gender is, sex, and our relationship to it, changes over time. Attitudes, conversations, and the actual performance of the act vary with age and preference. Just because it changes however, doesn’t mean it can’t still be enjoyable for you and your partner. We’ve compiled a few simple tips on how to keep the magic alive in the bedroom (or wherever) throughout the years:

1.	Accept That Things Change This is point number one for a reason. Over the years, our bodies change and so does what works for each of us. Treating your body like it’s 20 when you’ve been using it for 60 years or more can have repercussions. Know your body and embrace those changes!

 

Communication Is Never Not Important When it comes to sex, communication is always a major part of the partnership. If you’ve never clearly and openly talked about sex with your partner, then maybe it’s time to start that ball rolling. Communicating expectations, desires, likes, and dislikes is key to adapting to the natural evolution that a sexual relationship goes through.

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Talk To Your Doctor Some changes related to sex are less about being in the mood, and more about your body behaving differently than it used to. If an open dialogue about sex with your partner is important, then it’s equally important to have conversations with your doctor or a medical professional as well. Some common issues adults run into as we get older involve blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes, and a host of others. Talking with your doctor about these factors and how they apply to you is always a good idea to get a solid baseline to plan from.

It’s Not Just About You Whenever there is a piece of advice here, remember that it applies to both you and your partner. Talking about your desires is important, but just as important is listening to the person you are with. Understand that if you have concerns or hangups about sexual intimacy and sexuality, your partner might as well. Try to create an open and free atmosphere that you both feel comfortable engaging in these discussions that are about both of you.

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Apply What You’ve Learned Life is all about learning and growing from applying that experience. Don’t ignore this, especially when it comes to sex! Rather than the trial and error that goes along with young age, you now have the confidence in your body’s capability. Being sure of what you want and what fits in with your body can be a major boost to self-confidence and a huge factor when it comes to your sex life.

 

Don’t Rush Things Make it about more than the act of sex—turn it into an evening. Set aside time to make the whole experience more romantic. Try to reinvigorate the time leading up to the act. Have intimate conversation, read suggestive poetry, engage in something together that you have not yet experienced but have an interest in. Bring you and your partner closer together to draw out that intimacy and pleasure.

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Don’t Stress So Much Stress isn’t a great thing to bring into sex at any age, but as we get older, stress can seriously hamper our ability to enjoy intimate experiences. Depending on your stress contributors, sometimes an honest conversation with your partner can help alleviate it. Many people attach a great deal of stress to sex in general. Take that well-earned confidence from over the years and realize that sex is nothing to stress about.

Sometimes It’s Chemistry It’s not just the joints and bones that change over the years. Hormones shift over time which can lead to decreased sex drive or a total shift in what sex can mean for a person. If your hormones are causing issues when it comes to sex, seeking out hormone treatments or supplements can yield results. Talking with experts in the field of hormone replacement therapy is a great starting point for determining what your needs might be.

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Experiment With The Formula Over time, anything we do can become routine. Even the most enjoyable tasks can fall into a regular rhythm. In order to break that sameness around sex, it’s time to shake things up. Trying new sexual positions, different kinds of sex, even where you have sex can spice up your sex life in unexpected ways. Being open to these changes necessitates conversation for everyone involved, so remember that communication!

 

Work On Yourself Outside Of Sex Your life out and about can also impact your sex life. If you live a sedentary lifestyle, your sex life can suffer. Increasing your physical activity, even when it’s just around the house can result in improvements all over including sex. Reducing the amount of alcohol you drink and quitting smoking are also both major steps you can take to greatly improve your quality of life in addition to helping out with your sex life.

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Embrace The Change

Sex is something that can be enjoyed even as you get older. It can improve your mood, bolster your health, and creates and strengthens interpersonal connections. Even when it’s different from what it used to be, it can still be a fantastic and intimate experience. Don’t let age change your ability to enjoy your life.

Sex changes over time. The frequency, purpose, feeling, all of it. But when should it stop? The easy answer is it shouldn’t have to! There are no hard and fast rules about when women should stop having sex, because every person is different. As we get older, we experience more stress and need relief more than ever. Well, studies have shown that sex relieves stress! But what happens when your body is making it difficult or impossible to have sex as you get older? We have some ideas.

Why Do Sexual Changes Happen As We Get Older?

Hormone levels shift with age and can lower libido and sexual pleasure. While these changes can be minor, some women experience more significant shifts in what sex means for them as they get older.

Once menopause kicks in, women can go through some pretty drastic changes in their sex lives. Many experience decreased libido, difficulty with lubrication, and obstacles related to reaching climax. These issues can typically be traced back to the lack of hormones being produced by the ovaries, in particular estrogen. However, some issues are related to psychological issues including self-confidence issues, general stress, and anxiety.

The common thought about how to handle these kinds of issues is that women experiencing these kinds of sexual dysfunctions should seek out assistance. By having an honest conversation with your doctor about your concerns you may be able to find ways to alleviate and address those concerns. These fluctuations are natural, and can be countered in a variety of ways.

Mental Strategies

A good chunk of issues that can get in the way of enjoying a sexual relationship can involve the mentality around sex. The way we think about sexual health and relationships has the potential to affect the body’s physical performance. Talking with a sex therapist to get a better idea of how they can improve their mental relationship to sex.

The Sexual Advice Association says that, “Sex therapy is considered highly effective in addresssing the main causes and contributing factors of sexual difficulties.” By working out what exactly your mental blocks are regarding sex, you may be able to shift that thinking or find ways to improve sexual confidence and communication.

This strategy is also effective at helping to identify emotional roadblocks for sexual satisfaction.

Emotional Strategies

When addressing issues related to emotional health, some of the most common causes are depression and anxiety. These problems can arise as the result of hormone imbalances and shifts in the body related to menopause. Because every woman will experience menopause, there are plenty of resources to help identify these issues. You’re not alone!

Discussing these issues with a doctor or hormone specialist can return some solutions that were previously not considered such as hormone therapy. Hormone replacement therapy can help return the balance your body is used to. Sometimes, restoring this balance is exactly what someone’s sex life needs!

Physical Strategies

While the mental and emotional side of sex is always worth exploring and addressing, the other obvious side to addressing sexual issues involves physicality. Sex is a physical act, and if your body faces challenges when it comes to physical activity, those will transfer over to sexual activity.

Blood pressure, diabetes, and similar issues are common obstacles, and medications used to treat these conditions can affect sex in their own ways. Heidi Godman, the executive editor at the Harvard Health Letter, says that some treatments for these issues “can blunt interest in sex or cause difficulty reaching orgasm.” When you have these medications to make life better in some areas, but they interfere with other important factors, life can be complicated. Discussing these issues with your doctor makes it possible to start exploring other options for medications.

There are some strategies that you can embrace every day that can improve physical health, and will likely have a positive effect on your sexual health. By engaging in exercise and eating a healthier diet, you can increase blood flow and improve your heart health. A proper diet can also give you more energy without weighing you down.

Smoking and drinking can also interfere with how the body functions in relation to sex. Cutting out smoking entirely, and moderating how much alcohol you drink are huge when it comes to getting your sex life back on track.

How To Apply

When you have all of this information and are trying to figure out the best way to go about implementing it into your own life, it can become pretty overwhelming. When you find that the prospect of handling your stress is becoming stressful, it can quickly spiral out of control. As previously mentioned, seeking out assistance should always be a part of your strategy.

By talking with a professional either about your medications, or other physical, mental, or emotional issues related to sex, you’re laying the groundwork to start taking steps. By even talking to someone, you’ve already taken the first ones! Working with your doctor is a key factor when constructing future strategies for improving overall sexual health.

Sex is an important part of life, and getting older doesn’t mean it has to stop! There are ways to adapt to your body’s changing needs, and by exploring those possibilities, you can keep your sex life going strong!

It’s Normal But Don’t Settle

As we get older our sex drives do have a tendency to diminish a little. This is nothing to be ashamed of, we’re not the young, energetic, sex driven 20-somethings we used to be.

It’s normal to see some drop in your sex drive, but if it seems like getting in the mood is just impossible now, it could be a sign of something more than just typical aging effects. You could be effected by a number of serious issues including hormone imbalance. 

Below are some of the potential causes of lowered libido, and keep in mind a lot of these issues can be fixed or helped!

Interpersonal Issues

While your libido is a very personal thing, it can actually be connected to your interactions with others. If your partner is experiencing performance problems, this could cause your libido to fall. This is no fault of theirs or yours, so you should feel no shame. There are options to help with sexual performance, and it could be something you two could do together to help things out in the bedroom.

Another interpersonal issue could be the birth of a child. Child birth while obviously caused by sexual activity can unfortunately lead to less of it. This can be because of stress and worry, hormonal changes, a lack of sleep, postpartum blues, or body image issues. These are all temporary issues that you have the power to work through, but if you need to don’t ever feel ashamed of seeking help. 

It’s important to remember that your libido is linked to so many factors in your life, and that it’s never something you should be ashamed of no matter what’s causing it to fall.

Medical Problems

illnesses both mental and physical can cause problems with your sex dive. Depression can destroy your drive, and anyone suffering knows that fighting depression is a very hard battle. Depression, while caused by a myriad of things, could be caused by a hormone imbalance. Fixing the root cause is the best way to get every aspect of your life back, including your sex life.

Something physical that can cause sexual drive drops are thyroid issues. If your having hormonal issues with your thyroid you could experience weight gain, fatigue, depression, and a lowered sex drive. If your having issues with your libido the first place to look is the thyroid.

Low Testosterone

It may seem odd, but testosterone is actually important to the sex drives in both men and women, and low testosterone could cause a lowered sex drive. Women’s testosterone levels peak around the mid-20s and then steadily decline until menopause where they drop dramatically. 

We don’t really think of testosterone as a feminine thing, but a having the right levels of testosterone in your body could make you feel like a 20-year-old all over again. Well, that or just make you feel much more like yourself.

Medications

Our medications are important to our health, but sometimes they can also be detrimental to it. It’s important that we know the interactions that our medications have with every aspect of our bodies, and that we know how we can counteract some of the undesirable effects.

For example, some antidepressants can actually lower your sex drive, which might be completely counter intuitive. And, blood pressure lowering drugs are almost certainly going to lower your libido. It’s important that your consult with your healthcare provider to find the best way to protect everything aspect of your emotional and physical well being. 

Getting Back Your Desire

Your sex drive isn’t gone for good. There are number of treatment options available, and hormone treatment might be the best for you. With testosterone and/or estrogen treatment you could see results that will make you feel like you did pre-menopause. 

You don’t have to settle for the “inevitable.” 

Talk to your healthcare provider about options for getting your libido back!