No matter what your gender is, sex, and our relationship to it, changes over time. Attitudes, conversations, and the actual performance of the act vary with age and preference. Just because it changes however, doesn’t mean it can’t still be enjoyable for you and your partner. We’ve compiled a few simple tips on how to keep the magic alive in the bedroom (or wherever) throughout the years:
Accept That Things Change
This is point number one for a reason. Over the years, our bodies change and so does what works for each of us. Treating your body like it’s 20 when you’ve been using it for 60 years or more can have repercussions. Know your body and embrace those changes!
Communication Is Never Not Important
When it comes to sex, communication is always a major part of the partnership. If you’ve never clearly and openly talked about sex with your partner, then maybe it’s time to start that ball rolling. Communicating expectations, desires, likes, and dislikes is key to adapting to the natural evolution that a sexual relationship goes through.
Talk To Your Doctor
Some changes related to sex are less about being in the mood, and more about your body behaving differently than it used to. If an open dialogue about sex with your partner is important, then it’s equally important to have conversations with your doctor or a medical professional as well. Some common issues adults run into as we get older involve blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes, and a host of others. Talking with your doctor about these factors and how they apply to you is always a good idea to get a solid baseline to plan from.
It’s Not Just About You
Whenever there is a piece of advice here, remember that it applies to both you and your partner. Talking about your desires is important, but just as important is listening to the person you are with. Understand that if you have concerns or hangups about sexual intimacy and sexuality, your partner might as well. Try to create an open and free atmosphere that you both feel comfortable engaging in these discussions that are about both of you.
Apply What You’ve Learned
Life is all about learning and growing from applying that experience. Don’t ignore this, especially when it comes to sex! Rather than the trial and error that goes along with young age, you now have the confidence in your body’s capability. Being sure of what you want and what fits in with your body can be a major boost to self-confidence and a huge factor when it comes to your sex life.
Don’t Rush Things
Make it about more than the act of sex—turn it into an evening. Set aside time to make the whole experience more romantic. Try to reinvigorate the time leading up to the act. Have intimate conversation, read suggestive poetry, engage in something together that you have not yet experienced but have an interest in. Bring you and your partner closer together to draw out that intimacy and pleasure.
Don’t Stress So Much
Stress isn’t a great thing to bring into sex at any age, but as we get older, stress can seriously hamper our ability to enjoy intimate experiences. Depending on your stress contributors, sometimes an honest conversation with your partner can help alleviate it. Many people attach a great deal of stress to sex in general. Take that well-earned confidence from over the years and realize that sex is nothing to stress about.
Sometimes It’s Chemistry
It’s not just the joints and bones that change over the years. Hormones shift over time which can lead to decreased sex drive or a total shift in what sex can mean for a person. If your hormones are causing issues when it comes to sex, seeking out hormone treatments or supplements can yield results. Talking with experts in the field of hormone replacement therapy is a great starting point for determining what your needs might be.
Experiment With The Formula
Over time, anything we do can become routine. Even the most enjoyable tasks can fall into a regular rhythm. In order to break that sameness around sex, it’s time to shake things up. Trying new sexual positions, different kinds of sex, even where you have sex can spice up your sex life in unexpected ways. Being open to these changes necessitates conversation for everyone involved, so remember that communication!
Work On Yourself Outside Of Sex
Your life out and about can also impact your sex life. If you live a sedentary lifestyle, your sex life can suffer. Increasing your physical activity, even when it’s just around the house can result in improvements all over including sex. Reducing the amount of alcohol you drink and quitting smoking are also both major steps you can take to greatly improve your quality of life in addition to helping out with your sex life.
Embrace The Change
Sex is something that can be enjoyed even as you get older. It can improve your mood, bolster your health, and creates and strengthens interpersonal connections. Even when it’s different from what it used to be, it can still be a fantastic and intimate experience. Don’t let age change your ability to enjoy your life.