You love your partner, through thick and thin, through good times and bad. However, when your spouse is going through menopause, you might find it puts a strain on your relationship. This is incredibly common! Like other stages of a long-term relationship, menopause brings huge shifts for your partner and the ways in which you interact, and it’s perfectly normal to struggle with the transition.
With tensions running high, it might seem like the smallest things you say can upset your spouse. However, from their perspective, certain remarks are not small at all! There are some things that you should definitely avoid saying to your partner when they’re going through menopause. It will help to show that you understand and respect what they’re dealing with, and keep things positive. Here are a few of them to be aware of!
Aren’t You Too Young for That?
Menopause is something that’s associated with growing older, so it might surprise you to hear that your partner is beginning to go through it at a younger age than you thought they would. Menopause tends to occur on average between the ages of 45 and 55, but it is possible for it to happen sooner.
Telling someone they’re too young for menopause can feel like a well-meaning compliment, but for many women, it’s just a painful reminder that they’re aging. Menopause can be difficult mentally and emotionally as well as physically, and it’s kindest to tread lightly around the subject of age during this time. Your partner might be feeling sad about getting older without you realizing!
It’s Freezing in Here!
Hot flashes are the classic symptom of menopause. Everyone hears about them, every woman dreads them, and everyone who experiences them knows what a pain they are. They can strike at any time, interrupt your sleep, and make you wildly uncomfortable in the most inconvenient moments. When your partner is having a hot flash, she’s sure to be stressed, sweaty, and altogether miserable.
In these moments, the most considerate thing to do would be to avoid pointing out the hot flash unless she mentions it herself, and don’t make any comments about the temperature. If she’s turned up the AC and you’re cold, grab a sweater without making a big fuss. Complaining about the temperature might only make her feel worse!
Did You Gain Weight?
Menopause can lead to a lot of physical changes in a woman’s appearance, including weight gain, hair thinning, changes in body or facial hair, or changes in breast volume. Simply put, your partner is likely to be especially sensitive about her looks at this time, and off-handed comments might strike a little deeper than you intended them to.
If you notice a change in your partner’s appearance like thinning hair or weight gain, it’s best to keep any observations about it to yourself. Instead, focus on pointing out the things you find beautiful about your partner that she can feel confident about. Remind her that you find her attractive and sexy– a small compliment can go a long way!
You’re Lucky Your Period is Gone!
It seems like the one upside of menopause: no more dealing with a period each month! While this is true and it’s something many women consider to be a silver lining during menopause, it might upset your partner to have it pointed out.
For one thing, losing your period is just another reminder that you’re getting older, something few women are particularly excited about. It might also be saddening for some women to know that they’re out of their childbearing years– they may have wanted a bigger family, or never got the chance to have children when they wanted to. If your partner mentions being grateful that her period is gone, it’s great to join her in rejoicing, but otherwise, it might be best to avoid mentioning it. You never know what might be on her mind when it comes to changes in her body.
You’re Not in the Mood Again?
Changes in your sex life are a major source of relationship strain during menopause. The hormonal changes this transition brings are likely to affect your partner’s libido, as well as how comfortable and enjoyable sex actually is for her. You might find that you’re suddenly having much less sex than you used to, leaving you feeling frustrated and distant.
This is shaky territory. Guilting your partner or complaining about her lower sex drive or physical changes is never something you want to do. At best, it’s rude and inconsiderate, and at worst, it borders on coercing her into sex. However, you’re not wrong to feel lonely or upset with this change in your relationship! Those feelings are normal and worth fixing. Find a time to calmly and kindly talk to your partner about the shift in your sex life. Acknowledge her struggles and that you know this isn’t her fault, and lay out how you’re feeling and that you want to work together to fix the problem. Cooperating on finding a solution can result in your relationship coming out even stronger on the other side!
Menopause doesn’t have to mean that your relationship with your partner turns sour. It’s a period of change like others that you’ve gotten through together, and with plenty of open communication, love, and support, you’ll get through this one, too. If your partner is really struggling with the symptoms of menopause, hormonal replacement therapy might be a good way for her to find some relief. You can both learn more from Renewed Vitality today!